Imagine you're me. I give you a bunch of spoons. These spoons are like energy, and healthy people have endless amounts of spoons, whereas I have less. I don't control how many I get, or how quickly they go. Every conscious action I make costs a spoon. So, first thing I do when I wake up is gage how well I slept, how I felt yesterday, what my pain score is today, and whether or not I've got anything planned for the day. Based on this, I estimate how many spoons I have. On a good day, I go downstairs for food, medicine and water, because otherwise I have absolutely no chance of functioning. 2 spoons gone. I decide to have a shower, and wash my hair, that's another spoon.
The day goes on, I'm always counting spoons and always making sure I have enough. By the time it gets to putting clothes on I've usually used 4-6 spoons and I need another 2 definitely for lunch and dinner, plus one spare, so I plan my day based on what I have left. Whether it's going out (5 spoons not in wheelchair, 2 spoons in), reading (1 spoon), art or sewing (2 spoons), or having someone round (1-2 spoons) When I don't have enough spoons, I crash, flare up, and usually spend days in bed recovering, building up my reserve of spoons again. I could borrow tomorrows 'spoons' if needs be, but it means tomorrow will be harder as I won't have enough.
I always have to make sure I keep an extra spoon or two in reserve because I never know when I'll need one. Maybe my tablets are in the cupboard, I'm home alone and I need to get them. Maybe the cat litter needs cleaning out. I could get a cold, or infection and need lots of spoons to fight it.
It's taken me a long time to learn this theory and put it into practice, but I've had so many more good days because of it. Going out a bit less, thinking more about how I fill my days, running up and down the stairs less, means I can actually leave my bedroom on worse days, I can actually get dressed because I've saved spoons.
So, please don't waste spoons. If you're healthy, please appreciate the blessing that you have a never ending supply of them. Do things that are important to you, that enrich your life. Have meaningful conversations. Don't take it for granted. You never know when it could be taken away.
Today I'm grateful for:
- That feeling of accomplishment when you finish a book
- The feeling of excitement when you start a new book!
- Music
- My large supply of painkillers and anti sickness
- Oreo Cadbury chocolate!
That is exactly how I operate too Meg. The difficulty comes when something unexpected happens during something which you have planned and forces you to use up spoons that you didn't expect to need and then you are stuck.
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