As Mad as a Hatter..

One of my all time favourite roles to play was Alice in Alice in Wonderland. She was curious, liked to dream, and was so fun to perform. But I am closer to the character than you would think. 

Alice and The White Rabbit - March 2012

Not many people know I have Alice in Wonderland Syndrome….

Imagine sitting in an exam, and time actually going super quickly. Well thats what happens to me. Whenever a room is silent, time feels like its speeding up and my brain goes fuzzy. I can't focus and I feel like I'm spinning, it's incredibly disorientating and quite frightening at the time. I can feel people moving around me, there's a buzz in my ear, and I feel sick. It can last from a few minutes to continuing for weeks afterwards.

Also, most commonly at night, when my eyes are closed but I'm not asleep, I get the very strange feeling of my body growing, shrinking, and generally distorting itself. My legs could feel like they're 10 feet long, sometimes my head feels massive, or I could be smaller than a mouse. So really, I get the best of both worlds, I get to feel tall, and be short in real life! And I can well and truly say I applied method acting for my Alice performance!!! 

Me!

I don't remember the first time it happened, and I couldn't describe the sensations that were happening to me when I was younger, I believed it was relatively normal to have perception and body disturbances. But when I went to the doctors with migraines and regular severe stomach cramps at age 9, AIW syndrome came up and I remember Mum asking if I had ever felt like I 'grew or shrunk'. She went on to describe perfectly how I'd been feeling, even though I had never said anything. I was so surprised, and she explained to me that it's an actual medical condition, and I began on migraine treatment. It's been something I've had for as long as I've had Turners.

It's one of my strangest conditions, and is definitely more prominent when I have Really Bad Headaches. To combat it, I tend to have the TV on constantly, or listen to music and sing along loudly if I'm home alone so there's no silence, and at night I like to listen to audiobooks. It's difficult balancing wanting silence for the pounding headache, and wanting noise to avoid feeling Alice-y. With this and tinnitus (ringing in my ears!) I have bad insomnia, sleeping at night is difficult, but proper relaxation and focussing on something else is key. 

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