New Paintings and Pet Portraits!

Today I'm going to share with you a few paintings I've done recently, and as something new and a little different, I'm going to write a little bit about my thoughts and processes behind them. You learn so much more when you self evaluate the things you create! 

This painting was done in my weekly art class. I had an initial photograph to work from as inspiration, which had a simple watercolour feel to it, but because my favourite medium is acrylic I tried to adapt it to a different style. My main focus was on replicating the muted but diverse collection of colours the original image used. I started off with watered down paint, but quickly found that it left a very grainy thin feel to the image, and so begun thickening it up. I added my own details, plenty of texture and tried to make it a little more interesting with drips and splatters. I am slowly learning that I don't have to stick to a reference image completely, and that I am allowed the freedom of putting whatever marks I want on paper, there are no restrictions! Nothing is right or wrong in art. Critically, I feel like the the three lines coming off the side could have been a much stronger white, to create a firm edge. However, I love the overall tone of this painting, and to me, this almost feels like an abstract seascape, with stormy clouds and rain, but a bright clear sun threatening to overtake the day from behind. 

This was an image I painted for a very special lady at the Turner Syndrome Support Society. I had such fun with this, I love the vibrant colours used, and the paint splattered effect is slowly turning into my favourite way of completing an image. Done a few months ago, this was one of my very first attempts at painting an animal, and I really love how unique it is, not adhering with the true colours of an animal, but still ending up with a creative and vibrant image that is true to the breed. The paintbrush I used gave me a very fluffy feel to the fur, but if I had wanted the dog to look a little more defined and less like a puppy, I could have used a thinner brush and made more defined lines. The white could also have been stronger, however overall I am so very pleased with the result. I am now also taking animal portrait commissions, so if you'd like a framed painting of your beloved pet in time for Christmas, let me know! I will definitely be doing lots more of these in the future. 

Am I Normal Yet? By Holly Bourne

Evie has OCD. All she wants is to be normal. She’s coming off her meds and starting at a new college. She’s even going to parties and making friends. But is she ready for dating?

Relationships are messy – but even more so when mental health issues and teenage guys are involved. But if she can't tell her new friends the truth about herself, what will she do when she actually falls in love?

This is rather heavy book, so don't go into this thinking it's going to be cute, romantic and fluffy. Although dating and love is a huge part of this novel, Evies OCD and GAD (generalised anxiety disorder) is the main theme, and is portrayed in the most honest way I have ever read. It shows her good moments, but doesn't skip over the awful overwhelming moments full of negative thoughts and feelings. It's truthful and genuine and you really feel for Evie. Seeing mental illnesses portrayed accurately is rare. 

Evie makes friends with two girls called Lottie and Amber, and together they become a group of empowered, female positive activists, reinventing the word spinster, and having meetings discussing everything from periods to the bechdel test. If you're unfamiliar with the concept, the bechdel test is a way of pointing out sexism and female exclusion in modern media. To pass, two females must have one conversation, at any point during any entire film, that isn't about a boy.  Pretty much half of all films ever made fail. I believed I was already quite well informed on feminist issues before reading this book, however I learnt so much from these girls conversations, and anyone who reads this book will hopefully find themselves learning, and striving for female empowerment. it was lovely to read a book that had female friendship at the forefront. 

There was a huge 'self love' theme throughout, which I was so pleased with. It's important for young people to learn to accept themselves, especially the uncontrollable parts like illnesses. Even Evies little sister reminded me a lot of my own situation, so accurately showing that feeling of helplessness you feel when you cant be the big sister you desperately wish you could be, when they become the one who look after you, spouting words of wisdom and watching out for you the way you should be for them. 

My only issue would be how central the word 'normal' was to the novel, and that there was a checklist of 'boyfriend' 'parties' 'no meds' and 'college' to finally determine whether she was like everyone else. Let me tell you, if those four things actually determined "normal", I am absolutely the most "abnormal" person in the world. Everyone has moments where they don't feel like they fit in with everyone else, but there could easily have been a stronger message to say that being different wasn't a bad thing. I understand why there was so much focus around it, written from a teenage girls perspective, nobody wants to be seen as an outsider, but it could have been a lot more 

I was so happy with how it wrapped up as well, I wont say too much for fear of spoiling it, but it was positive without simply dismissing everything Evie went through to create a perfect happy ending. This is the first book in a trilogy and I cannot wait to read the others, which will actually tell Amber and Lotties story! 

Holly Bourne also wrote a book called Soulmates, which I absolutely loved. It's a strong romantic novel, so please let me know if you'd like me to review that! 

Catching up on classwork!

Art School. It's a dream in the pipeline... no matter how long it actually takes me to get there! For now, I'm taking a class for one day a week, and so I thought I'd show you a few paintings I finished from last term! 

Art is the only way to run away without leaving home!

 What’s in my art bag? | Meg Vlogs

Extraordinary Means by Robyn Schneider

When Lane is sent to Latham House, a sanatorium for sick teens suffering from drug resistant, terminal and highly contagious tuberculosis, he assumes his life is over.

A place where midday nap and rest time is a required class, no homework is allowed, it's easier to fail breakfast than math, lessons are mostly unsupervised easy worksheets, and PE consists of gentle walks for those who feel up for it... to any healthy person, it seems like paradise. But not to Lane. He had dreams and goals and things he wanted to do. He didn't have time to 'relax'. 

He feels trapped. Frustrated. Stifled. But then he meets Sadie and her friends - a group of eccentric troublemakers determined to try and live the biggest and most fulfilled life they can - and he realises that maybe his illness doesn't have to define you, and that life can still be enjoyable, no matter how sick you are.

This book captured long term illnesses in a truthful, genuine and realistic way. Lane started off his time at Lantham in denial about his diagnosis. He pushed himself to the limit, studying hard day and night, trying to keep up with college applications. Of course, he quickly goes downhill from overdoing it, and he slowly learns there are pretty serious consequences to ignoring his health, and eventually comes to terms with his reality.

I'm so glad this book portrayed the implications to pushing yourself too hard. He had days where he couldn't leave his room, where walking around was impossible, and had endless appointments with doctors. The characters were flawed, they made mistakes and the consequences were pretty severe. Sadie ran a black market of sorts, sneaking in all sorts of contraband, sometimes in the mindset that she was invincible. The one qualm I had with the book was that they had a 'sneaking out in the middle of the night to get drunk' storyline, it made the otherwise heartwarming message of the book come across very slightly as 'life your life to the fullest, but the only way to make memories and have fun is to get drunk like every other teenager...." but I'm glad the author portrayed the harsh repercussions after that night and didn't simply brush it off.

A few months ago I watched a TV series called 'The Red Band Society', which followed a group of sick teens in hospital. I loved the characters in it, but found the script infuriating. These teens were having so much fun, 'playing hooky' from hospital and going out on day trips, without wheelchairs, medication or even supervision... going up on the roof and having night time picnics, decorating their hospital rooms as if they don't have to worry about infection control or cleaning. It irritated me quite a bit, as it portrayed us as being healthy enough to do all these things that everyone else does. There's no way that I would be escaping hospital for a day, getting a bus into town, by myself and then running around a football pitch. When I'm in hospital, I am laying flat, hooked up to drips or literally ICP bolted to my bed, dosed up on medication and my days are full of tests, surgeries, medication or movies and books. However, portraying to the general public that the chronically ill CAN and do live a normal life can be detrimental, it makes it even harder for others to truly understand us. It doesn't help us to prove to people that we don't purposely bail out of meeting up with friends, that we do have major limitations, we physically can't do what everyone else does, and that our pain is real. Media has such a big influence on our life, it has the power to raise awareness to so much, and that's all I ever want to do with my blog and YouTube. 

I completely understand that nobody wants to watch a show about someone laying in bed complaining of being in pain all the time. It would be boring. Entertainment has to be somewhat dramatic. However, Extarordinary Means has proved that you can write book about the realities of being ill, include all the medical details, and still make it utterly captivating to anyone who reads it, regardless of their own life experiences.

This isn't just another book about two dying teens who fall in love. Although there is plenty of romance involved, it's definitely not a shallow novel. It's a refreshing take on living with a terminal illness, filled with hope and inspiration. 

You by Caroline Kepnes

When a beautiful aspiring writer wanders into Joe Goldbergs bookstore, she has no idea how her life is about to change. A google search of the name on her credit card instantly brings up a public facebook page and twitter account, giving Joe everything he needs to know about this stranger. She's known as Beck to her friends. She lives on Bank Street. She went to Browns University. And she'll be at a bar in Brooklyn tonight.

The perfect place for a 'chance' meeting?

Joe quickly and obsessively begins to stalk and control Becks life, manipulating a series of events that will move him from stranger to boyfriend. He loves her, and he will quietly and quickly remove any obstacles that will get in the way of their perfect life together. 

Including murdering people.

This is an absolutely beautifully written book. It could almost be poetry, it's nothing like anything I've ever read before. Written in a unique first person narrative, it could easily be as painful to read as pulling teeth, but instead its the most gripping book I've read.

I have to warn you, this is not for everyone. It is graphic, vulgar, and incredibly unsettling at times, and definitely not for the young reader, but it was done in such a clever, captivating way that I couldn't put it down.

The use of social media is a strong theme throughout. A lot of us share huge amounts of our lives on the internet without even realising, or thinking twice about who could access it. This book definitely makes you double check before posting something!

The most unnerving thing about this book though, was just how likeable and 'normal' Joe was. He was a homicidal stalker, but he could easily have been your next door neighbour. I was absolutely invested in him, and his thoughts were so real and developed with purpose that I often forgot how twisted he was. He genuinely believes he's protecting Beck and making her life the best is can be. He was such a fantastically developed character that I found myself liking this psycopathic man, and I silently hoped he would get his happy, perfect ending... a real credit to how talented Caroline Kepnes is as a writer.  

Joe and Beck have stayed with me long after I turned the last page.

Updated Bucket List.

1. Have my art shown in a gallery/museum
2. Have 50,000 page views on my blog
3. Write and publish a book
4. Sell a piece of art
5. Earn a fine art degree! 
6. Read 100 books in a year
7. Have my own art studio 
8. Start a YouTube Channel
9. Have 100 subscribers 
10. Have 1000 subscribers 
11. Have 100,000 subscribers 
12. Start a channel with Sophie
13. Post my first video 
14. Post 100 videos 
15. Own a good quality camera to record with
16. Learn British Sign Language
17. Read all the books on my bookshelf
18. Move in with my girlfriend 
19. Donate my hair to make a wig for a child with cancer 
20. Learn to play an instrument  
21. Have a reading nook in my house
22. Become an organ donor
23. Volunteer at Birmingham Childrens Hospital
24. Raise over £2500 for charity
25. Raise over £5000 for charity
26. Have a house with a reading room/ library
27. Win an acting award 
28. Get a tattoo
29. Spend a day watching disney films
30. Fall in love
31. Go on a first date
32. Get married
33. Watch the sun set and rise on the same day
34. See a Broadway show
35. Adopt a cat 
36. Watch the complete works of Shakespeare
37. Go to the Metropolitan Museum of Modern Art
38. Send a message in a bottle
39. Save a life
40. Change a life
41. Make a tye dye t-shirt 
42. Create melted crayon art
43. Finish my Wreck this Journal
44. See the northern lights
45. Walk on the beach at midnight
46. Go on a road trip
47. Have children
48. Kiss someone at midnight on NYE
49. Watch 5+ movies in one night 
50. Own a polaroid camera
51. Cook Mum dinner with no help
52. Do something special for my parents 
53. Dye my hair
54. Have a scary movie marathon
55. Visit Disney World, Florida
56. Learn to knit
57. Be as half a good mother to my children as my mother is to me
58. Meet TSK
59. Watch a TSK show live
60. Go to the HP studio tour
61. Try butterbeer
62. Take part in a flash mob
63. Go to the cinema by myself
64. Watch a meteor shower
65. Donate blood
66. Visit Australia
67. Go to the Louvre
68. See the Mona Lisa
69. Fly first class
70. Try s'mores
71. Complete a sketchbook
72. Finish a journal
73. Finish an art journal
74. Visit Anne Franks house
75. Write a short script
76. Go on a hot air balloon
77. Own a pink sewing machine
78. Eat a pizza in Italy
79. Leave a waiter my number on a napkin 
80. Dance outside at midnight
81. Have a massage
82. Have a manicure
83. Have a pedicure
84. Own my own house
85. Stargaze
86. Start a book club
87. Make a dream catcher
88. Visit Nepal
89. Visit America
90. See the ball drop on New Years Day in Times Square
91. Take kissing pictures in a photo booth 
92. Be in a movie
93. Learn to drive a car
94. Be on the front page of a newspaper
95. Be on the west end

Me Before You by JoJo Moyes

Will Traynor lived a fast paced, intense life. That was, until he was left quadriplegic after being struck down by a motorbike. He lost everything, the use of his legs, his friends, his job and high reputation as a CEO, his independence, his girlfriend, and ultimately, his happiness.

Lou Clarke lived a quiet, safe life, under her parents roof with her grandad, sister and nephew, contentedly working at a cafe. That was, until, she got made redundant, and found herself in a new job as Will's carer.

Neither of them know quite how much they're going to change the others world. 

This book had me absolutely sobbing. Let me warn you, this book is not an easy, happy, romance novel. 

Will wants to end his own life, on his own terms, at Dignitas in Switzerland. Dignitas is a Swiss organisation that help people with terminal, severe physical and mental illnesses to die, assisted by qualified doctors and nurses. Assisted suicide is a controversial and incredibly personal topic, and as humans our instinct is to fix things and save people, but without knowing the full story, people are very quick to judge. He feels trapped and hopeless and he can't be the full man he wants to be. When you can't live the life you want, it can be absolutely torturous. Will lost his ability to move, and with it lost his dreams and passions, and a huge part of himself. 

"I'll tell you something I never tell anyone.

I get really scared of how this is going to go. [...] Nobody wants to hear that stuff. Nobody wants you to talk about being afraid, or in pain, or being scared of dying through some stupid random infection... 

[People] ultimately just want to look on the bright side. They need to believe there is a bright side."

Regardless of that theme, I promise that this isn't a depressing book. Will never comes across as being full of self pity. Told from Louisa's perspective, this is her story. Although the obvious focus is on her trying to show Will that he can still lead a fulfilling life, in the end Will is the one who teaches her to be free. She doesn't have to settle. She is allowed live a big life.

Sometimes the bravest thing you will ever do is put someone else's happiness before your own. And this book has two of the bravest characters I have ever read about. 

I have lots of days when I get frustrated with the restrictions my chronic illness give me, and I know everyone has felt like they've been dealt a bad hand in life at some point or another. But whilst reading this book, I was reminded of just how lucky I actually was. I am able to eat by myself. I am able to paint and read books. I can move my hands and feet independently. Little things you take for granted, other people are wishing for. Nobody likes to be told 'someone else has it worse off than you', but it makes you feel incredibly grateful for what you actually have. 

"You only get one life. It's actually your duty to live it as fully as possible."

Have you read this, or are you planning to? What did you think? Leave me a comment down below!