Love, anniversaries, and marriage equality!

Mine and Sophie's 6 month anniversary was this Friday. Six months. It feels like we got together yesterday but have lived a lifetime together all at once. 

Friday was also the day that same sex marriage was legalised in all 50 states.
This is such a huge step. Finally allowing gay couples to be married as opposed to being in a 'civil partnership' will have so many benefits.

Legally,

• Both partners will finally have parental responsibility over children.
• If a partner is in the hospital, their spouse can get information first.
• If one partner passes, bank accounts, property etc can officially be accessed by the partner.
• In a marriage, a paper certificate records the event.

Married couples can take a lot of these things for granted, but sadly in a civil partnership, these basic rights are inaccessible. Until now.

Actually having the status of being married has huge psychological benefits too. Demoting a couple to 'civil partners' can enhance the negative feelings and stigma attached to a 'different' relationship. Marriage is the joining of two people, and by not allowing particular people to unite in this way can cause huge strains in relationships and self esteem. Sending out the message that all love is love, no matter what genders involved, is a big step in making the world a more accepting place, and give the next generation a chance to be kinder and even more loving.

No relationship comes easy, whether you're the same sex or opposite sex, whether you live on the same side of the street, or the opposite side of the world. Add on not being able to get legally wed and it can take its toll on you. But now same sex couples can in many places. 

Now we can. That doesn't mean all our problems are solved however.

Factor in hundreds of miles distance, chronic illnesses, a job, the prejudices attached to being in a same sex relationship, and it can sometimes feel like the world is against us personally. Thank god for the internet, which allows Sophie and I to be so close when we're so far apart. Although at times it can feel a curse... it’s torture watching your significant other pour their heart out to you on a laptop screen and not even being able to hug them or just squeeze their hand in silent reassurance. Communication is so important, especially when you're in a long distance relationship.

But one day the distance will be closed. We won't need to countdown. We won't have to fit in a months worth of hugs and dates in just a weekend. We will have a space to call our own, and we will have a big white wedding (if I can make it out of bed for long enough.... and if Daisy doesn't take complete control and turn it into a big rainbow wedding!)

One day, we'll be able to walk down the street hand in hand and not have to worry about other peoples reactions. The prejudices and stereotypes will vanish. One day, things will be different.

One day.

#LoveWins

Turner Syndrome Awareness Day

Turner Syndrome is a genetic chromosome abnormality affecting only females. Males are typically born with 46XY chromosomes, and females are usually born with 46XX chromosomes. Girls with Turners are born with 45XO chromosomes. We have one normal X chromosome, and the other is missing or partially deleted. It occurs in 1 in every 2500 live births, and there are still so many undiagnosed girls without the help and support they need. I was diagnosed with Turner Syndrome at the age of 9. It is a cradle to grave condition, meaning I was born with it, and will live with it for the rest of my life. To read my diagnosis journey in depth, check out my mums blog from the beginning! 

Conference 2014

The first sign of TS my mum noticed in me was my height. I was the same size as my sister, who is 5 years younger than me. I took daily injections to boost my height. I would've probably been between 4'3" - 4'5", but now, thanks to modern medicine, I stand at 4ft11!  I have a congenital heart defect called a bicuspid aeortic valve. This means I only have 2, instead of the usual 3 parts to the valves in the main part of the heart. Thankfully, it's not an issue that requires immediate surgery. Another sensitive topic TS girls deal with is infertility. This could be a whole other blogpost on its own, but I’ll briefly go over it for now. Most girls take oestrogen pills and are unable to naturally conceive. I am incredibly lucky in the fact I am the 1% of girls born with TS that are in fact fertile. When the time comes that I want to think about have children, I have the possibility of having my own eggs harvested and used in IVF treatment, regardless or not of whether I am the one to carry the child in pregnancy. If that doesn't fall through, there is always adoption. There are always options. 

Conference 2012

Anyone who has watched a film or even had a conversation with me knows my hearing is rubbish! Subtitles are always on the TV, and I cannot hear what you’re saying to me unless you stand right in front of me so I can lip-read you – a skill I learnt at a very young age. I can also fingerspell the alphabet if needs be!
I also have an underactive thyroid, a curved spine, hearing loss, and a characteristically turner face with droopy eyelids, low set ears, and lots of moles. As a child I was incredibly hyperactive and I never slept. I would constantly be 'running blind', I was, and still am, very impulsive and have no concept of danger. For example, at the age of 7 I wouldn't think twice about darting straight into a road full of traffic to get to the other side. I wouldn't pause and think about the cars or waiting for the traffic lights or other people, all I would think is 'I need to get to the other side as soon as possible.'
To all the mums and dads raising us Turner girls, you're doing an amazing job. And thankyou. We will go to sleep one day! We are all so lucky to have parents that constantly fight for us, and we are so grateful.

Conference 2011

I used to struggle with friendships as a child. Not because I was shy, I was definitely a very confident little girl, (you’d often find me performing songs by Steps or S Club 7 anywhere we went… restaurants, trains, outside peoples houses – the world was my stage!) however, I actually find it hard to interpret facial expressions and assess situations based on how other people are acting. I struggle to pick up on social cues sometimes; my observational skills are not exactly ‘on point’. And I would do anything to avoid confrontation or arguments, sometimes saying what I think people would want to hear, as opposed to the truth.
Change also makes me feel very anxious. Routine is very important to me, and I like to know what's happening well in advance. If something is thrown at me with no warning I feel very out of control and need time to prepare myself, although I try hard not to let it show. I also have no spacial awareness, meaning I walk into things and am just generally incredibly clumsy. We have no way of knowing whether some of these things are purely because of my TS, or whether they’re actually just ‘me’. Everyone is different, regardless of whether they are diagnosed with a condition or not, and mine is just one story in thousands.
I am incredibly lucky to be involved with the Turner Syndrome Support Society. The support and friendship I've received from them is invaluable, and from the second I walked through the door of my first conference in October 2006, they have become my second family. I have lifelong friends who are more like sisters to me, and my experiences have hopefully allowed me to be a source of support for some.

Conference 2013

The TSSS website also has pages of more information, support, and contact details, don’t be afraid to ask for help if needs be.

Turner Syndrome Support Society UK

Review: Where Rainbows End by Cecelia Ahern

Rosie and Alex have been best friends since childhood. Through puberty, and to the newfound independence of young adulthood, they stick together, sharing everything. Until Alex’s family move from Dublin to America – putting an ocean between the two. On the eve of Rosie’s departure to join him, she receives news that’ll change her life forever, and keeps her right where she is.

Bad luck, circumstances and misunderstandings keep them separated. Their bond keeps them close through the ups and downs, but neither of them know whether their friendship can actually survive the years, miles, and new relationships. As the book goes on, you understand that Alex and Rosie are completely and utterly meant to be together, and every missed opportunity makes you a little frustrated.  

This is worth 5 stars in my opinion, and I absolutely recommend it to everyone, no matter what style of novels you usually read.  Don’t let the length of the book put you off, I lost myself in it for two days straight. Written in the form of emails, letters, instant messages and texts, it’s not tiring to get through, and makes a refreshing change to the usual lengthy narrative prose of other novels.

This quote is one of my favourites.

When you are chronically ill, the one thing you have is time. Time to work on hobbies and skills you’d never usually cultivate, to read, to rest and to reflect. Prioritizing activities becomes so important; you can’t put valuable energy on things that are trivial or pointless. Rosie is in her fifties before she begins to seriously think the depth of her feelings for Alex.

It makes you think about how quickly life passes you, and how important it is to do what makes you happy. Take those chances, and make time in your life for what’s genuinely important. Give your sister a hug and make up with her. Spend more time loving what your body can do than hating what it looks like. Rest when you need to. Tick something off your bucket list. Be brave. You’re far more likely to regret the opportunities you don’t take rather than the ones you do.

It has also been adapted to film, under the title ‘Love, Rosie,’ and it’s one I could watch again and again! It is full of humour, makes you tear up, and you’re hanging on until the very last moment.  Let me know if you’ve read/are reading this book, I’d love to hear your opinions!